The issue is you are Pretty Currywurst Eating Team Shirt going to be the asshole to someone if we start getting super granular about it. Most justified assholes here fit under not the asshole when the context is considered just because they were not perfectly polite and under a different circumstance would be the asshole. Aka you are not an asshole for pulling a harmless prank on a close friend. You are an asshole for pulling said the same prank on some elderly lady you have never met who then has a panic attack as a result. Context matters here, if you are an acceptable level of an asshole then you’re not really being an asshole. I fully agree with what you’ve said and I wish most people felt that way.
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But the number of times I’ve seen people say Pretty Currywurst Eating Team Shirt because you should. Never ever say something means to someone is ridiculous. One post always sticks out to me, a girl posted that every day this one guy made fun of her speech impediment and she asked him to stop repeatedly. One day she snapped and said stop making fun of me or I’ll make fun of your weird crocodile arm. (He had a deformity) she got so many ESH it made me kind of mad. Sometimes I feel like on this sub the answer is yes, you were being a jerk but it was justified? Not an “everyone sucks” kind of way, but in an “in this situation, the other person was a dick and so you did something that may have been otherwise assholish to make a point.
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I stand by Pretty Currywurst Eating Team Shirt is my ruling. Op has dealt with this woman belittling and mocking her language and by extension her intelligence for YEARS, while also being condescending as hell and just an all-around asshole. Aunt is the asshole whose prejudices are hurtful and ignorant. I don’t think op sucks for responding to that after God knows how long. Context matters and OP is allowed to have a spine. Thats actually a really good idea and I hope the mods see it. The only downside I can think of would be an increase in stories where OP is less concerned about their asshole status and instead want people to agree their payback was justified.