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My mom phones again, she could hear the guy searching. The house for Cute Dachshund Leopard Shirt and eventually found the locked bathroom door. He still has his rock and starts wailing on the door. I could hear my mom and my gran screaming through my sister’s cell phone and all I could think was “Oh shit, oh no, fuck no” as I was flying down the highway. The neighbors had heard all the commotion (even though they lived about 50 yards away and they came over to investigate (the guy was a cop). The dude must have seen torchlight through one of the windows and bolted. The neighbor said that the only sign of the guy was him leaping the backyard fence with a cap on.

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Right now your Cute Dachshund Leopard Shirt goes to school to get bullied. Comes home to non-supportive parents. And can’t distract herself from this shitshow with games because she’s being punished for saying bad words out of frustration. She’s a 14-year-old girl who is concerned about promiscuity, infidelity, and immoral behavior…and your response is not to go “awesome, I’m glad my daughter respects her dignity as a young woman and is capable of making value judgments that run counter to peer pressure,” but is instead to grind her to dust with insane punishment. This blows my mind. Your daughter is somehow being sexist because she’s opposed to pornography and those that produce and consume it?

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The next scream I realize is coming from the back hall. I go to my door and look Cute Dachshund Leopard Shirt the peephole. The old woman who lives below me and shares the back hall with me is standing on my landing, staring at the wall with a blank look on her face screaming like a cat. This happened like when I was 8 or 9 and sometimes when I went to bed I would make hand shadows and the wall next to me. Well one time I did this I raised my hand up and started waving it like you do when saying “hello” to someone, but after I put my hand down a different shadow appeared and started waving back. This really scared me and I always slept facing away from that wall until we moved out of the house (old habits die hard).

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