Please note: I am VERY pro-network to the point I’ve written an academic essay on legalization in a regular English class. In my mind, the stigma of the legal, pro-woman network is deplorable and contributes to violence. However, in our cultural climate, it is a very real part of the industry and I can’t imagine your SIL didn’t think this through and expect it one day. YTA I can understand your reaction and your desire to punish her, but tell me one time grounding someone has ever worked as a punishment and taking it to extremes is an even worse idea. What this teaches your kid is not to be a better person, but rather how not to get discovered.
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You will teach her to not come to you when she’s in trouble because you will punish her. What you do is that you sit down and you talk, you talk about what your SIL does and that it is her choice and how you understand how your daughter feels. If you want to punish her, the punishment is to talk about that for one hour a day for a week or more. Oh my god, you’re definitely the asshole. This is nearly the same thing that happened between my sister and mother, and now my sister doesn’t talk to my mom anymore (not a porn star aunt, but a different reason). Your daughter is going to have long term issues from this. I was bullied relentlessly growing up, and that was without giving people a reason.
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I can’t imagine how hard it’s going to be for your daughter, and all you can think about is how it makes your sister feel. Right now your daughter feels like she’s completely alone. She’s being bullied relentlessly at school and her parents have no sympathy for her and all they think about is their sister/SIL. Why do you think she doesn’t tell you anything? You’re treating her like an adult, but she’s still just a kid, a kid who’s being bullied for something she had no say in. She’s bottling up all her frustration because SHE HAS NOBODY TO TALK TO. You keep hassling her about being nice to your sister to make your sister feel better, but that’s beyond what she’s emotionally capable of because of what’s she’s dealing with in school.
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