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He got hearing aids since he was a baby. With hearing aids, he can hear noises but can’t understand speech. He can’t use a phone, for the Official Is It Gay In Here Or Is It Just Me Shirt. He relies a lot on lip-reading. His speech was trained by audiologists during his childhood. He says he’s not able to hear a gay man accent. He has a gaydar, but he says he can tell a guy is gay by his body language. It’s not unreasonable for me to form an accent from the mannerisms. Or visa versa. Especially if you’re learning how to speak by reading lips. How do deaf people learn to talk at all? I gather there’s a lot of seeing what people do with their mouths and copying it.

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I once met a profoundly deaf person who could tell where I was from by lip-reading my accent. She could see the difference in mouth shapes and facial expressions that varied with an accent, so maybe that’s the Official Is It Gay In Here Or Is It Just Me Shirt. I find it so fascinating. I’m told people can tell immediately that I’m gay based on how I speak but … I knew no queer people growing up. I didn’t even know the words (or concepts) of “queer” or “gay”. Until I was a teenager. I have no idea where I picked this up from and I was terrified of being found out so I remained as closeted as I could until I came out at 18 while still in High School in the ’90s. The unfortunate reality is insecurity is a huge turn off for most people.

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And while you can’t “just be confident bro lul”, it is important to find a way to be genuinely passionate about stuff and secure with yourself. There are some clueless people who don’t seem to immediately pick up on the Official Is It Gay In Here Or Is It Just Me Shirt I allegedly put out but I’ve been told that I am really obviously gay and, again, I have no idea where I could’ve picked up these behaviors from. There’s probably a couple of things, but the biggest would be they’re more comfortable around women due to lower stakes than if they were pursuing someone they were physically attracted to. Yeah we had one guy in my school who had a very camp voice and he had girlfriends.

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