YTA. I was leaning towards Official I’m Blunt Because God Rolled Me That Way Shirt until I saw the length of the grounding. 3 months of grounding without internet is a bit extreme for making comments in a private conversation to a parent, however rude they were. While I personally am on the side of “sex work is a perfectly legitimate career and clearly has a market” it gets complicated when kids are being bullied over something they don’t have any control over, like a family member’s chosen career. It’s a situation where you feel helpless, and the only way she thinks might fix it is by distancing herself from her aunt and denouncing her career. I think to give her time and space and to have.
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An open Official I’m Blunt Because God Rolled Me That Way Shirt about why she has those views and explaining why you disagree is a good way to move on for your family. School is always going to suck now, but maybe asking for the punishment of the bullies and making the home better could help. Not to mention what this grounding and removal of the internet would do to the social life of a 14-year-old, which let’s face it, is already in tatters, as a direct result of OPs negligence. I would actually never forgive my parents. OP thinks shes progressive but by forcing her views on her daughter/ punishing her for lashing out when exasperated/ clearly caring 10x more about the aunt’s feelings than her children, she is actually incredibly backwards.
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The school needs to do much more than that. That boy Official I’m Blunt Because God Rolled Me That Way Shirt to be disciplined for starting an online bullying campaign against your daughter. How your daughter is acting is a clear response to how Laissez-faire you have been about the whole situation. You need to rain nuclear missiles on the school until this is handled appropriately. YTA- Your daughter’s reputation is being destroyed and she’s being severely bullied directly due to your SIL’s actions. Your daughter is the victim here, and she has a right to be extremely angry. Maybe using the word “slut” isn’t right, but are you really surprised? She’s obviously using Minecraft and the internet as escapism and you just took that away from her for 3 months for showing a completely expected emotional response.