Official Blessed Leopard Shirt

Once before bed, I happened to be Official Blessed Leopard Shirt a can of ginger ale. I put it on my nightstand and fell asleep before I could finish it. The next morning when I woke up, my throat was hella dry, but no worries! My ginger ale can was still on my nightstand! I reached over, took a huge swig… and immediately knew something was wrong. I ran to the bathroom, spit it out, and… out came literally hundreds of ants. They had gotten inside the can overnight. It was the worst experience. When I was like 17 I thought I was cool and sneaky, and started chewing tobacco for about 6 months. I spit in this Pepsi Holiday Spice 2 liter I kept up in my room. Now my mom and dad themselves used to keep about 5-6 2 liters in the garage on a shelf, and I’d go down there at night and chug from them, which in turn irritated the shit out of them.

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That’s where I got this Official Blessed Leopard Shirt that I spit in for weeks. So one night I go downstairs to the garage and pick up the first two-liter on the shelf, Which was a Pepsi Holiday Spice. I just throw this two-liter back like nothing. I take 3-4 BIG chugs off that bottle before I noticed there something was off. Then I realized that it wasn’t carbonation that was burning my throat, it was the menthol from my week’s old chew spit. I just straight up bent over and puked all over the floor. I didn’t even bother to try to get to a sink or bucket. To this day I still don’t know if this was my mom’s intentional doing to teach me a lesson, or if it was just found in my room and put back by mistake, seeing as it had relatively the same color as the Pepsi that has previously occupied the bottle.

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I live with a bunch of Official Blessed Leopard Shirt guys and most of us will drink out of any container laying on any countertop in the house. After smoking my buddy got cottonmouth and ran over to take a swig out of a gallon water jug he had. He tilted it back and chugged a good gulp before realizing it was bleach…. later on found out a guy at the party the previous night had filled the water jug with bleach knowing someone would drink it eventually. AHHH! I did this about a month ago, except it was in a Starbucks cup. Apparently I forgot to throw away a half-full coffee and took a huge swig. Definitely puked immediately after.

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