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My first boyfriend was 22 years old! I was probably 13-14 something. He was very controlling, the Nice May Girl I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me Shirt kind that tells me I’m not allowed to say “no” if he asks anything. He used to ignore me for days and not reply to me. And very often made me send him nudes and I really really hated it. But I wasn’t allowed to refuse or he would go find a girl who would satisfy him “a true woman”. And I didn’t see anything wrong at the time with this but at least I didn’t have sex with him even tho he suggested that.

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Now I’m 21 and when I look back and think about it. I just feel so much shame and burden. And just asked myself why and wonder didn’t he see that I was a freaking child. And I get filled with sadness. And I feel like that happening at such a young age really contributed to things I have done and hate. All I can take from this is to be careful in the Nice May Girl I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me Shirt future and make sure it won’t happen to my own kids. I was 15 and definitely didn’t understand A THING about love or danger. I found out that he was married and had a child because he literally disappeared.

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I was trying to find out what happened. When I was younger, my parents monitored everything I posted online (I could search for whatever). Even for a simple Facebook comment, I had to get their approval. Now, I’m happy that whatever cringy thing I may have wanted to post at 10 years old isn’t readily available on the Nice May Girl I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me Shirt Internet. I started getting stares/comments from men that were 20+ starting when I was nine. I relied on sex to prove my self-worth, but snapped out of that at 15 and realized I needed help. A few years of therapy later I was back on track.

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