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Fr. Besides the Cute Sloth Reading Just One More Chapter Shirt. That shit is nuclear hot, and she bares hands it with only the slightest twinge. That’s a woman who has been cooking killer food for decades. Even then you learn its harder to use the tongs than it is to start the long road to asbestos fingers. I don’t feel shame now when I say my aunt still says I’ve got white boy fingers and my tortillas come out as thick as pitas but they’re made with love. One time I saw this red-hot coal fall off of street-cook grandma’s grill, and she literally bent down, picked it up, and threw it back in. That reminds me of my days working in a kitchen as a line cook. You’d be surprised how fast you get a tolerance to heat when you fucking burn yourself. I may also be mentally retarded.

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Has anyone ever read Bitter is the New Black? The author loses her high paying job & at one point goes to the Cute Sloth Reading Just One More Chapter Shirt. It doesn’t go well. So I wonder, when the hospital brings in Amy’s tab & she’s standing there with an LV overnight bag & her LV purse (or maybe 2, one Never Full for each babe?) will they feel sorry for her when she bursts into tears? Also, LVs do hold their value better than popcorn machines, so there is always that! Side note: I have never birthed a teacup human so I don’t know how often it happens, but my coworker told me they came in before discharging her & asked if she wanted to pay the bill (before it was run through a little thing called INSURANCE).

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Like the girl who was on ecstasy and die from blood/water poisoning from drinking too many bottles back to back. I read that shit in Reader’s Digest like 15 years ago at a Cute Sloth Reading Just One More Chapter Shirt. The answer is fat and salt. Home-cooking recipes typically skimp on these, because most people want to cook relatively healthy. Well, it’s easy. Take the recipe you find online and add ~4 times as much butter/oil, and really taste for salt at the end; you’ll probably be at least doubling the salt the recipe calls for. Remember to add some MSG/umami with fish sauce/Worcestershire sauce/Accent (MSG).

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